Few Ways To Control Your Emotions Effectively

Emotions are the most present, pressing and sometimes painful force in our lives. We are driven day by day by our emotions. We take chances because we're excited for new prospects. We cry because we've been hurt and we make sacrifices because we love. Without a doubt, our emotions dictate our thoughts, intentions and actions with superior authority to our rational minds. But when we act on our emotions too quickly, or we act on the wrong kinds of emotions, we often make decisions that we later lament.

Our feelings can alter between dangerous extremes. Veer too far to the left and you're bordering on rage. Steer too much to the right and you're in a state of euphoria. As with many other aspects of life, emotions are best met with a sense of moderation and logical perspective. This is not to say that we should stop ourselves from falling in love or jumping for joy after great news. These truly are the finer things in life. It is negative emotions that must be handled with extreme care.

Negative emotions, like rage, envy or bitterness, tend to spiral out of control, especially immediately after they've been triggered. In time, these sorts of emotions can grow like weeds, slowly conditioning the mind to function on detrimental feelings and dominating daily life. Ever met a person who's consistently angry or hostile? They weren't born that way. But they allowed certain emotions to stir within them for so long that they became inbred feelings arising all too frequently.

So how can we avoid operating on the wrong types of feelings and master our emotions under the harshest of circumstances?

Follow my six steps to control your emotions and regain rationality in any challenging situation:

Don't react right away. Reacting immediately to emotional triggers can be an immense mistake. It is guaranteed that you'll say or do something you'll later regret. Before refuting the trigger with your emotional argument, take a deep breath and stabilize the overwhelming impulse. Continue to breathe deeply for five minutes, feeling as your muscles untense and your heart rate returns to normal. As you become calmer, affirm to yourself that this is only temporary.

Ask for divine guidance. Faith is our saving grace in our darkest moments. No matter your creed, developing a healthy relationship with the divine world will help you surmount your obstacles more easily. This is because when you believe in a higher force, you also believe in the power of divine intervention to show you what you must do, teach you why something is happening or even save you from a certain unwanted situation. When burdened with emotion, close your eyes, envision a positive solution to your problem, and ask the universe to illuminate the best path forward.

Find a healthy outlet. Now that you've managed your emotion, you'll need to release it in a healthy way. Emotions should never be bottled up. Call or go see someone you trust and recount to them what happened. Hearing an opinion other than your own broadens your awareness. Keep a journal and transfer your emotions from your inner self onto the paper. Many people find it helpful to engage in aggressive exercises, such as kickboxing or martial arts, to discharge their feelings. Others meditate and chant to return to a tranquil state of being. Perform whatever activity is best-suited to you in order to liberate your being from pent-up sentiments.

See the bigger picture. Every happening of our lives, whether good or bad, serves a higher purpose. Wisdom means being able to see past the moment and discern the greater meaning of any given situation. You may not understand it in the beginning, but as time goes by, you'll begin to see the bigger picture falling into perfect order. Even in the midst of an emotionally upsetting moment, trust that there exists an ultimate purpose which you will come to comprehend soon.

Replace your thoughts. Negative emotions bind us to recurring negative thoughts, creating cycles of downright negative patterns. Whenever you are confronted with an emotion which is making you feel or think something bad, force it out of your mind and replace it with a different thought. Imagine the ideal resolution to your problem playing out, think about someone who makes you happy or remember an event that makes you smile.

Forgive your emotional triggers. Your emotional triggers may be your best friend, your family members, yourself or all of the above. You may feel a sudden wave of anger when your friend "does that thing she does," or a stab of self-loathing when you remember something you could have done differently. But when you forgive, you detach. You detach from the resentment, the jealousy or the fury lingering within you. You allow people to be who they are without the need for escalating emotions. As you forgive, you will find yourself disassociating from the harsh feelings attached to your being.

A constant reminder of our ardent nature, emotions surge through us at every second of the day. But we often take wrong actions when wrong feelings filter through our mind without restraint. To avoid the burn of acting out during an emotional upsurge, take a few simple steps to calm your heightened spirit and quiet your uneasy mind. When the moment has passed (in hindsight), you'll be grateful you were able to be the master of your emotions.

Source: Huffingtonpost

Dr. Carmen Harra  

Author, clinical psychologist and relationship expert

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Tips To Work Well Under Pressure

In the IT world working under pressure is a daily event. Knowing the steps to take when faced with an issue can lessen the stress of working under pressure.

Deadlines, project changes, unforeseen obstacles, critical outages are only a few of the stressful issues that can arise in the IT world. We face these circumstances often and can feel a great deal of pressure to get them taken care of.

“Pressure – The stress or urgency of matters demanding attention, The burden of physical or mental distress, The constraint of circumstances.”

Working under pressure involves dealing with circumstances that can be constrained by time, resources, the difficultly of the task, all of these and more. It involves the stress that comes from dealing with a matter that must be taken care of on time. This pressure can lead to physical or mental distress.

Maintain Control

The first step in learning how to work under pressure is to maintain control. For some pressure brings up emotions that can cloud decision-making and inhibit your ability to deal with a problem. If you cannot set your emotions aside take those emotions and turn them into the energy needed to deal with the situation.

Evaluate The Issue

Before you jump into action you must first evaluate the issue.

Be sure you know exactly what the issue is before you try to resolve it. On the surface it may seem like one thing, when in fact there is an underlying cause. By jumping to conclusions and acting on the wrong issue you may in fact make it worse. Ask the important questions who, what, when, where, why to get to the root of the problem.

Once you know what the issue is then determine the priority. Is it a high priority that must be dealt with immediately?

Have a Plan

The post “How a Proactive IT Manager Can Handle Any Crisis” details how important it is to have a plan or processes for dealing with a crisis already in place. When a crisis arises that puts you under pressure you execute the plan. Each step is outlined and everyone knows what they are supposed to do.

When There Is No Plan

There are times when something arises that there is no plan for. In these cases the best way to deal with it is a step-by-step process. Learning how to work under pressure means sometimes you have to work without a net.

1. Determine what the issue is and document all the circumstances surrounding it.
2. Determine how critical it is. This will determine how quickly it must be dealt with.
3. Create a simple to-do list for each step that needs to be done to resolve it.
4. Once you know the steps then it is just a matter of doing them or delegating them.

Anytime you deal with something for which you had no plan for after the issue is resolved write down everything while it is still fresh in your mind. You can use these notes later to create a step-by-step plan for dealing with that issue should it arise in the future.

Resources:

• 5 Ways to Stay Positive in Negative Situations
• How To Deal With Stress at Work
• Do You Manage Like an Out of Control Bus Driver?

Take Away

How to work under pressure can be summed up into three steps.

1. Maintain control
2. Evaluate the issue
3. Execute the plan or prepare and execute the plan if no plan exist

You can relieve the stress of working under pressure by knowing what steps to take to deal with any situation that can arise. Being pro-active by having plans in place for common issues can make sure they are dealt with promptly and relieve the stress of working under pressure.

The more you have to work under pressure, the better you get at it. This builds confidence that you can deal with anything that arises. This confidence can relieve the stress and help reduce the emotions that can come up when working under pressure.

By Sam Grier

Source: IT Managers Inbox

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Three Eating Rules Bodybuilders Follow

Never Skip Breakfast

It's the most important meal of the day for building and maintaining muscle, says Jose Antonio, Ph.D., CEO of the International Society of Sports Nutrition. The longer you go without eating after you wake up, the longer your body remains in fasting mode, making it more likely that your muscle will be broken down and used for fuel. Eating as soon as possible after rising in the morning ensures that won't happen.

Eat Protein and Carbohydrates After a Workout

After exercise, your muscles are primed to take in glucose and amino acids. Researchers at the University of Texas Medical Branch found that you can speed muscle growth by consuming 6 grams of essential amino acids (the building blocks of protein), or about the amount in 12 ounces of milk. Add carbohydrates to the equation, by drinking chocolate milk, and you will speed up muscle repair, says Antonio.

Take a Daily Dose of Creatine

Exercise scientists at the University of Hawaii found that older men who took creatine increased muscle, strength, and power after just 7 days of supplementation. "Creatine is the single most effective supplement in existence, and it has no harmful side effects," says Antonio. One 5-gram serving per day will do the trick. We like Power Creatine from Champion Nutrition ( for 1,000 grams; champion-nutrition.com).

source: Men'sHealth

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Tips To Avoid Dry & Cracked Skin This Winter

Let's just put it out there: winter and skin are not the best of friends.

At this point in the season, your door can't hang one more heavy coat and your online shopping cart is full of one too many scarves, but let's not forget about the most essential part of winter: the ongoing battle with dry skin.

As the temperatures continue to drop, the dry environment and lack of moisture allows for cracked hands, chapped lips and scaly legs. Ew. This winter weather demands an upgrade to your skin care regimen, because nothing complements that seasonal vampy lip more than a hydrated, glowing face.

Read below for the basic rules to follow for skin care this winter.

1. Moisturize, moisturize, MOISTURIZE.
Moisturizing is an essentialpart of our skin regimen, but it's particularly so in this dry, freezing weather. Be sure to choose a product that is specific to your skin type and remember to apply within a few minutes of bathing to trap much-needed water.

2. Don't rule out the humidifier. 
Yes, it takes up space and, yes, it's not the first item on your Christmas list, but the added vapor will hyper-hydrate your skin and help prevent a flaky, itchy outer layer.

3. Vaseline is your best friend. 
Dry feet? Check. Dry elbows and knees? Double check. Lather up, ladies and gentleman, that little plastic container is your go-to all winter long. From lip balm to foot cream to makeup remover, this gooey substance can "fix" just about anything.

4. Keep a bottle of hand cream in your purse or on your desk. 
Cracked-hands? No thanks. Keep your hands soft and healthy this season by keeping a bottle on hand -- those mini bottles of lotion make great stocking stuffers, by the way.

5. Don't shower in super hot water. 
We know it's tempting, but showering in scalding temperatures tends to dry out your skin even more. Hot water removes natural oils from the skin, and the more oils removed, the drier the skin becomes.

6. Brush your lips with a toothbrush to get rid of that excess skin.
Because NO ONE likes chapped lips.

7. What about those dry under-eye patches? Hello, Aquaphor. 
It may be in the Vaseline family, but Aquaphor is the advanced therapy you need to survive the chilly season, specifically for those exceptionally dry areas. Meet you at Duane Reade.

8. Ditch the drugstore makeup remover wipes and reach for the cold cream cleanser.
The towelettes may be convenient, but the cold cream cleanser moisturizes AND removes makeup. Skin care products with added alcohols, and sulfates not only irritate but dry skin, too. We recommend Pond's.

9. Never forget Chapstick. 
EVER.

Bonus: Don't shave your legs as often!
Hairy is better than scaly and who cares, you're wearing pants anyway.

Source: Huffingtonpost.com

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Remove Stress From Your Life Forever With These 7 Simple Steps

We all face stress, and it's what we do when we're stessed that defines the outcome.

While some let themselves get overwhelmed and shut down, others use stress to motivate and push them to greater heights. Without the proper stress management tools, it's easy to give in and find ourselves overcome by stress. By following these seven steps, you can banish stress from your life--once and for all.

1. Look at the big picture

While you may be coming uncomfortably close to a deadline, your lack of progress is not your wife's or your children's faults, and probably not your coworkers' or employees' either. It's very important to remember what's most important in your life, and to be aware when you're blaming others for your problems and then taking it out on those closest to you. Sometimes we get so stressed that we blow up, which just causes more stress and drama in our lives.Try to keep things in proportion and you will see your stress level diminish daily.

2. Exercise

Being active is healthy for the body and the mind. When you're feeling stressed, take a quick break and go for a walk outside your office. This short interruption will give you a fresh perspective while removing immediate sources of stress. And as an added benefit, the endorphins released in your brain from the physical activity will make you feel better and at peace.

3. Eat healthy

Sugar crashes are a real thing, and with sugar hiding out in most every kind of processed food, it's extremely important to be aware of what you put in your body. Start out your mornings with a big, healthy breakfast--something along the lines of eggs and vegetables--and be sure to take breaks for lunch no matter how busy your day is. Keeping your brain fueled with healthy foods helps to keep stress from creeping up on you.

4. Keep track of progress

Write down how much you've accomplished on a project. Keep track of your average progress and make a goal for when you can and will complete it. Through this process, you can truly see how much is left to be done and plan accordingly instead of feeling overwhelmed inside because you aren't sure how much is left to accomplish.

5. Stay organized

Disorganization in any form causes the brain to feel stressed. Organize your work, your surroundings, and your activities in a way that gives you the most breathing room. If you are sitting in a room of clutter, your brain won't be able to focus on the task at hand. The more organized you are, the better you feel subconsciously. If you are feeling disorganized, spend 10 minutes a day on organizing different areas of your office and the work itself, and set a schedule for yourself.

6. Remain positive

Don't let yourself hang onto negative thoughts that you won't accomplish whatever it is that you need to to do. Tell yourself that you can and will finish on time, get organized, and get healthy. Make a goal, write it down, and hold yourself accountable. 

7. Make time for fun

The old saying is work hard, play hard, but if you're focused on only work and set aside no time for fun, you will get stressed and burned out. Be happy, and spread some of that happiness around. Plan non-working vacations, get-togethers with your employees outside of your office, and fun-filled activities for everyone to participate in within your office.

BY PETER ECONOMY

@bizzwriter

PETER ECONOMY

While Peter Economy has spent the better part of two decades of his life slugging it out mano a mano in the management trenches, he is also the bestselling author of Managing For Dummies, The Management Bible, Leading Through Uncertainty, and more than 65 other books with total sales in excess of 2 million copies. He has also served as Associate Editor for Leader to Leader for more than 10 years, where he has worked on projects with the likes of Jim Collins, Frances Hesselbein, Marshall Goldsmith, and many other top management and leadership thinkers. Visit him at petereconomy.com and follow him on Twitter: @bizzwriter

Source: Inc.com

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Keep Your Home Cool This Summer With These 10 Tips

Keep Your Home Cool This Summer With These 10 Tips

Let's cut to the chase -- it's hot out and it's only going to get warmer over the next couple months. And while it's tempting to crank up the AC or plant yourself within a couple-foot radius of the nearest fan, these certainly aren't the only tricks for keeping cool.

1. Keep your blinds closed. As simple as it may seem, the Family Handyman notes that up to 30 percent of unwanted heat comes from your windows, and utilizing shades, curtains and the like can save you up to 7 percent on your bills and lower indoor temperatures by up to 20 degrees. In other words, it essentially prevents your home from becoming a miniature greenhouse, which is especially the case for south- and west-facing windows.

2. And be smart about your doors. Closing off unused rooms will prevent the cool air from permeating these areas during the hottest part of the day. You'll want to capitalize on the cooler night hours, however (see tip #7), and let air flow naturally through your home.

3. Swap your sheets. Not only does switching up your bedding seasonally freshen up a room, it's a great way to keep your bedroom cool. While textiles like flannel sheets and fleece blankets are fantastic for insulation, cotton is a smarter move this time of year as it breathes easier and stays cooler. And as an added bonus, buy yourself a buckwheat pillow or two. Because buckwheat hulls have a naturally occurring air space between them, they won't hold on to your body heat like conventional pillows, even when packed together inside a pillow case.

4. Set your ceiling fans to rotate counter-clockwise. Whether you know it or not, your ceiling fan needs to be adjusted seasonally. By setting them counter-clockwise in the summer at a higher speed, the airflow produced will create a wind-chill breeze effect that will make you and your guests "feel" cooler.

5. Worry about the person, not the house. If your ancestors survived without air conditioning, so can you. From sipping tasty iced drinks to applying a cold cloth to strong-pulsed areas like your neck and wrists, doing the cooling from the inside out is not a bad idea. Other tricks include being smart about your clothing choices and telling your partner you won't be cuddling until the leaves start changing color.

6. Turn on your bathroom fans, or your exhaust fan in the kitchen for that matter. Both of these pull the hot air that rises after you cook or take a steamy shower out of your apartment. That being said, you don't want to let the cooler air escape, so be sure windows, doors and cracks are caulked before things start really heating up.

7. Let the night air in. During the summer months, temperatures tend to drop during the night. If this is the case where you live, make the most of these refreshing hours by cracking the windows before you go to bed. You can even create a wind tunnel by strategically setting up your fans to force the perfect cross breeze. Just be sure to close the windows (and the blinds) before things get too hot in the morning.

8. Ditch the incandescent lights. If you ever needed motivation to make the switch to CFLs, this is it. Incandescent bulbs waste about 90 percent of their energy in the heat they emit, so throwing them to the curb will make a small difference in cooling your home while lowering your electric bill.

9. Start grilling. It's obvious, but we're going to say it anyway: Using your oven or stove in the summer will make your house hotter. If it already feels like 100+ degrees in your home, the last thing you want to do is turn on a 400 degree oven. Besides, who doesn't want to get more mileage out of their outdoor furniture and seasonal accessories?

10. Make a few long-term improvements. If you're really, really committed to the whole no-AC thing, you can make a couple changes to your home that will keep it cooler for seasons to come. Insulated window films, for example, are a smart purchase as they work similarly to blinds. And additions like awnings and planted trees or vines on or in front of light-facing windows will shield your home from the sun's rays, reduce the amount of heat your home absorbs and make your investment nothing but worthwhile.

Source: Huffington Post

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A Guide To Networking For Introverts

Once I was making oatmeal in the microwave in my dorm and two of my other flatmates came in…

I never cooked food in that kitchen again.

I’m an introvert and people scare the hell out of me.

For the rest of the year I made instant soup using hot water that came out of the tap in my room.

It’s hard for me to meet people, but I’ve been working at it for a long time and I wanted to share some of the things I’ve learned along the way.

Extroverts and introverts, of different minds

Most people aren’t all introverts or extroverts, instead they probably share some characteristics of both.

The brain of an extrovert is wired feel reward and pleasure from engaging in social activities. Their nervous system signals the brain to free up extra attentional resources to be available when around other people. They are more motivated by social stimuli. Those same resources are not made available in the introverts brain. Extroverts also respond more to positive stimuli, whereas introverts respond more to negative stimuli.

Research says that extroverts rely on blood flow traveling a short pathway where it is transmitted to the areas of the brain where external sensory processing occurs. Extroverts require a good amount of the neurotransmitter dopamine to feel rewarded. Activation in this part of the brain is said to be the extroverts drive for sensory and emotional stimulation from the outside world.

For introverts, the blood flow is focused on the areas of the brain necessary for the following: memory recall, self-talk, making future plans, or problem solving. The introvert pathway is much longer and more complex and requires the use of a different neurotransmitter known as acetylcholine.

Individuals who are introverted are able to take in much more information regarding what is happening around them. They also expend a considerable amount of mental energy analyzing that information. People who score highly on the introversion scale are acutely aware of any changes to their surroundings. This is why social events are so taxing.

In summary:

Extroverts: Obtain energy from social situations
Introverts: Obtain energy from being alone

Whether you’re more extroverted or introverted, the tips below can help you gain more confidence when meeting new people.

Get comfortable

There are plenty of opportunities to meet people outside of networking events. Finding locations where you already feel at ease can help to make talking to complete strangers a little easier.

The effect your environment has on you is substantial. Your environment can improve your mood, participation, and even influence your willingness to act (or not) with others around you. Feeling comfortable in your surroundings also increases confidence and lowers stress. When you experience environmental stress, however, you also experience personal stress. Which can make the idea of talking to others seem downright impossible.

How can you make an uncomfortable or stressful environment seem less so?

Try to bring some of your routines from home with you. I have a habit of checking my phone when I’m uncomfortable—as I’m sure many of us do.

If I were to leave my phone at home, that would be an added stressor on me, and one that would make me feel even less comfortable. Instead, I will look at my phone when I feel my anxiety levels getting too high. It’s always easy for me to tell when that’s happening because I begin to sweat profusely from my right armpit.

The habit of checking my phone eases the mental burden (if only for a little bit). This is thanks to the basal ganglia aka the habit center.

The basal ganglia is what allows you to perform tasks without “thinking” about them, it’s that autopilot feeling. Routines serve a purpose. They free up mental space and make room for other cognitive tasks and thoughts—like talking to people.

Feeling Prepared

If there is one major thing that keeps me from speaking my mind it is my fear of looking stupid. I hardly believe I am alone in this feeling. This fear is what is known as evaluation apprehension. Preparing yourself for an event or social situation can help ease this fear.

• Give yourself enough time: If you’ve ever been rushed to a job interview, or come in late to an event, you know it is a pretty awful feeling. It completely throws you off your game—not to mention the increase in blood pressure and heart rate. By giving yourself the time you need to get ready, you help to reduce your stress level.
• Plan some conversations: Okay, this might sound like a little much, but having some planned out questions or quips to fall back on, it does seriously help. Consider where you are going, what the event is and who will be there. Planning is something introverts are really good at, so play to your strengths.
• Give yourself permission to say no: In the past I have created a fake sense of obligation to say yes to every event regardless of my intention to go or not. This leaves me in a terrible position. I either go and have a miserable time because I did not want to go in the first place—or I back out at the last minute, in which case my trustworthiness is questioned. Maya Townsend from Inc.com puts it this way:

Focus on being trustworthy. Keep your word. Follow up on your commitments. Give reliable, accurate information, and, if you can’t, say so. Don’t try to be something you aren’t.

The purpose of all of this, is about being as genuine to yourself as you can be. Do that, and the rest will come easily, or at least easier.

Get out there

You know that feeling you get when you have something really good to say, and you just know that people would like it if you said it, but then you don’t say it? This happens to me more times than I can bear to count.

There’s an actual warmth that rushes through my body when I have a joke I really want to tell, but then abandon at the last second. I think about the joke for years and ‘what might have been.’

Those on the introverted side of the scale do receive emotional benefits when they occasionally act extroverted. It is actually good for introverts to engage in momentary extroversion. So why don’t either groups take on the traits of one another more often? Because we assume that the social costs will be too high—that people will think less of us, or judge us.

Being in large groups also induces what is known as “social loafing.” That’s when we exert less effort in larger groups than we would alone. We do this for a variety of reasons:

• We cannot judge how our contributions will be received (so we do not make any to avoid negative judgements.)
• We assume others will do the work for us.
• The more meaningless we feel a task is, the less effort we are willing to put into it.

This is less about trust and more about group cohesion. Having ties to a group increases your sense of obligation to participate. Finding the connection you have to a group or identifying what it means to you, can help reduce your desire to rely on others and speak up for yourself.

So, I may never be the most comfortable person in the room, that’s okay with me. What I want is to be able to stop passing up opportunities to meet new people, to build new relationships because I was too afraid.

BY ANDREA AYRES, Crew BLOG

Andrea Deets is the Lead Writer at Crew, an invite-only network connecting short-term software projects with handpicked developers and designers. This post originally appeared on the Crew blog.

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